Hypnosis

I've never understood hypnosis....
I mean, the entire CONCEPT -- it has to be total crap. It just HAS to be.


C'mon. Think about it: are we REALLY to believe that someone can make another person pass out and forfeit all personal will just by talking softly and counting backwards??? That's ridiculous!

Yet, the idea of hypnosis permeates our culture; people just accept it as a REAL THING. We can see examples of hypnosis in countless stories, and no one questions it. Well, I, for one, call B.S.

Hey, if it were really possible to hypnotize people, then the practice would have destroyed us all by now. Political despots and psychotic ne'er-do-wells of all stripes would be employing the art of hypnosis to bend others to their will on a MASSIVE scale. We'd all be zombies, doing the bidding of the master hypnotists who'd happen to control the mainstream media. They'd use television, movies, and radio to strip us of our independent thoughts; we'd be mere pawns in their sick game without even realizing it!

And, CLEARLY, that is not the case.

...Right?


Look. I remember, one time, when I was a senior in high school, my psychology teacher had a so-called hypnotist come and speak to our class as a special presentation. See, Mr. Ruth (the teacher) had made a deal with us students: behave yourselves in class, and you'll get some reward. It COULD be a pizza party; it COULD be a visit from a professional hypnotist....

Well, we DID (somehow) manage to behave ourselves all semester and, in the end, the class got to vote on its reward: hypnotist, or pizza party. I voted for the pizza, but sadly, my classmates overrode my opinion by a large margin, and picked the stupid, shyster hypnotist.

SO, this dude comes to our class one day, and gives a little speech. He tells us about the mysterious, ancient science of hypnotizing people. He makes wild claims; he promises to WOW us all. I was highly skeptical. Yet, the rest of my class was all excited and interested.

Mr. Fancy Pants Hypnotist then attempted to deliver on his promise to hypnotize everyone in the room. He spoke softly and deliberately, instructing all of us kids to relax and clear our minds. The process unfolded; I resisted....

At the end of his little routine, he snapped his fingers, and, as commanded, the ENTIRE CLASS went unconscious at once.

Except for me.

(Me, that day.)

I sat there, totally alert, and deeply suspicious of what was transpiring around me. I couldn't believe how weak-minded and trusting my classmates were. Such fools to allow themselves to be manipulated like that!

And worst of all was that my girlfriend, Heather, had also fallen under this man's spell. There she was, the high school sweetheart I'd spent TWO YEARS of my life with, totally allowing herself to be bent to the dirty liar's will. She sat next to me, head fallen to her shoulder, utterly under the hypnotist's control. I resented her for that, to be honest; I thought she was BETTER than all that jazz....

Anyway, the hypnotist then began calling various members of the class to come up and stand next to him. He had different, hypnotized, kids do a number of silly things, like dance around, or pretend they were at the beach. Everyone else in the crowd simply laughed at the shenanigans unfolding before us (apparently, one could be hypnotized while still remaining aware of his or her surroundings on some weird level). I, for one, just sat there in disgust, shocked that this little routine seemed to be actually working on sentient beings. As far as I could judge, everyone had to be just playing along -- NO WAY this display could be for real.

But then, things got worse.

See, the hypnotist called up my previously-mentioned sweetheart, Heather. He had her come to the front of the class, in her supposedly-hypnotized state, ready to do anything he instructed.

Grrr....

Mr. Hypnotist man instructed Heather to pretend that she was at a health club. "Do some aerobics!" he ordered. And Heather complied.


Everyone in class laughed as she ran in place, did crunches, and stretched. Pretty funny, I guess...UNTIL, that is, the dear girl started doing jumping jacks.

Now, listen -- Heather was NOT a "slutty" girl, OK? She did NOT show herself off to others; she was NOT easy to get "in the sack" (boy, believe me on that point); and she certainly did NOT dress provocatively.

HOWEVER, on this particular day (as it happened), she was wearing a shirt that, if manipulated in juuuuuuust the right way, could very well leave certain parts of her...well..."exposed."

In short, I'm saying that she had on a loose cotton top that would reveal her boobs if she were to do something like, say, jump up and down with no regard for the consequences.


And that's precisely what happened.

Yeah, Heather started doing jumping jacks, and sure enough, OUT popped one of her boobs.

The hypnotist apparently didn't notice and, I guess, neither did Heather. But I sure as heck did, and I'm pretty sure the other guys in the class did, as well. I mean, these were teenage boys -- how could they NOT notice something like that?


I was enraged. However, not wanting to create a scene by running up to the front of the class to cover up my girlfriend, I instead shot the hypnotist the absolute DIRTIEST look I've ever shot anyone in my entire life. Blatantly aggressive; shockingly hostile. Wordlessly, I attempted to convey to that man a very specific message, which was something along these lines:

"You son of a bitch. I swear to God, I will KILL you for this...."

The demonstration ended, and no one ever mentioned the Heather-Exposed Incident. The hypnotist did not acknowledge it; Mr. Ruth was seemingly unaware; my classmates made no comments; and Heather, when I brought it up to her later, had no recollection of it having occurred. She swore up and down that the hypnosis had, in fact, been a REAL thing. She insisted to me that she felt no personal control over her actions while under, and that she had no idea she was being shamefully displayed to a room full of people.

Now, this was a person I fully TRUSTED. Yet, the questionable nature of what had just transpired left me in a state of doubt. WOULD this beautiful, sweet, individual I knew and loved so dearly allow herself to be caught up like everyone else in the LIE that was hypnosis? I mean, I hadn't been hypnotized; why had she???


To this day, I have my reservations. Would it really have been possible for EVERYONE else in a class of 30-plus people to just "play along" with the the hypnosis myth? Could the whole scenario REALLY have been some sort of weird, mass hysteria situation? Was everyone just pretending???

I say YES.

Indeed, even now, over ten years later, I simply cannot believe that hypnosis is a real thing. After all, why didn't it work on ME that one time? And if hypnosis is NOT a scam, then think of all the horrifying applications the dark art could have. Are YOU willing to trust your thoughts and actions to such a bizarre practice???

The whole concept is too frightening and nonsensical to be a possibility.

Friends, I maintain that hypnosis is a lie. And I refuse to accept that anyone's mind could so easily be manipulated.

That bastard hypnotist from Mr. Ruth's 12th grade psychology class was a scam artist. And Heather was just a LIAR!!!


Ahem. OK, OK. I apologize for that. Totally inappropriate, and I take it back. Sorry.

Hey, let's see if a zombie movie can calm my jealous nerves....

The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096071/


Netflix description:
Anthropologist Dennis Alan (Bill Pullman) goes to Haiti in search of a mysterious voodoo powder that turns the living into semi-conscious zombies. But as Alan comes closer to unlocking the mystical drug, natives turn his life into a nightmare. He enlists the help of a doctor (Cathy Tyson), but their smarts are hardly a match for the black magic they're up against. Horror master Wes Craven directs this creepy tale based on a novel by Wade Davis.


So, The Serpent and the Rainbow is a Wes Craven film about a scientist who gets caught up in the crazy world of Haitian zombies. You know -- the whole Voodoo thing. Yeah, that's the path that this particular zombie flick follows.

So, our hero is a guy named Dennis (Bill Pullman). He works for some pharmaceutical company that has hit on the idea of using Haitian zombie drugs as a new form of surgical anesthesia. See, (as we all already know) Haitian witch doctors can make someone SEEM dead by administering to them a powder that stops their breathing, heartbeat, etc....Well, these wizards at an American drug company for which Dennis works think that it would be a good idea to use that process during routine procedures to reduce the incidence of anesthetic fatalities. Brilliant!

So, Dennis heads down to Haiti, and finds hooks up with a hot female doctor who has connections to the seedy subculture of Voodoo zombification. He also establishes contact with a friendly, mob boss sort of dude who looks, oddly enough, exactly like the Reverend Jesse Jackson....

(What me interviewing Jesse Jackson might look like.)

Dennis soon runs afoul of the Haitian mafia, and risks getting zombified himself. CAN he escape this crazy island without getting killed? WILL he manage to unravel the mysteries of Voodoo zombie science?? WHY did Wes Craven even bother making this uninspired film???

Indeed, The Serpent and the Rainbow may be vaguely interesting in that it explores classic Haitian zombie mythos but, really, that's nothing that a million other flicks didn't delve into during the 1970s. I mean, there have been countless movies that took the same approach to the undead that this one did and, even IF The Serpent and the Rainbow is well-made, it is simply unoriginal. You can find this take on the world of zombies in SOOO many other places, friends.

Then again, we've got some strong suspense here, and a handful of interesting characters. Plus, the idea of taking Voodoo science and applying it to the realm of modern medicine is, admittedly, somewhat intriguing. After all, real world pharmaceutical companies would no doubt LOVE to have zombie powder. Think of all the applications!


Fairly well-acted, and slightly thought-provoking, The Serpent and the Rainbow is, by no means, a BAD movie (heck, in the zombie genre, one could do a whole lot worse). I'm just saying that this film has been largely forgotten for a reason:

It's simply nothing special.

Indeed. Why not devote your Netflix rental to a motion picture that gets the juices flowing a little stronger? I can name, like, 47 of them off the top of my head. The Serpent and the Rainbow is OK; it's just not all that interesting.

Only watch if you're really desperate.

3 out of 5.

b.